Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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