yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i've created a new STD.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
