Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
