ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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