Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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