thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
