Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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