were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
