What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
