You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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