how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
