It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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