I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
