He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You can't special order awesome
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Sext me about skeletons
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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