Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
