I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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