Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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