just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
