Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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