Pappa wants mamma naked
Its about making memories worth repressing
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
