we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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