first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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