please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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