how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
