What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
