theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
time to smoke my breakfast
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize