Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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