I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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