I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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