this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you told grandpa to call you daddy
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
