Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize