lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
