wanna go halves on a baby?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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