my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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