thus making me awesome and them whores
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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