Can i not drive my cunt home
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Randomize
