I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
