if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Sext me about skeletons
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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