I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
