Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
