Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
