My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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