yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
