If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
