I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize