it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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