Plan B is the new Plan A
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
