I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I deserve this hangover.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
