Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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