His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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