She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
