That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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