Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
