I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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