No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
