Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
