Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
where does the pee come out of this thing
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
