we're chasing vodka with high fives
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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