planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
