What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
