so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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