he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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