i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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