Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
