Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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