First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
COCAINE IS GR8
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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