You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
