5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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