Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
