My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
