I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
