I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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