3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
