We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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