I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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