We won't sleep together?
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Randomize
