I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize