Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
