you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
