Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
